


Soft Served but Stale

by deevoid_min



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, I live for the angst this is just a sequel, I lost the first manuscript I'm sorry, M/M, Mingyu cameo, Pain, Some OCs Cameo, Terminal Illnesses, but here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27558982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deevoid_min/pseuds/deevoid_min
Summary: Jeonghan has been living half a life for the last 8 years. Will he become whole again?
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	Soft Served but Stale

Jeonghan has been living half a life for the last 8 years.

Choi Seungcheol- the man that smelt so prominently of books and espressos, someone who's imbedded themself into his heart, promised him years and years of life and laughter and colors- never came back after he went lost on August 29.

Presently, Jeonghan was taking a weekly stroll at the local park on account to his doctor's prescription. What with the sudden loss and the frustration his lover has brought, he surely fell into depression. There were nights he'd hallucinate, and maybe that was the milestone of his dilemma, because before then he couldn't just eat nor sleep properly.

If Jeonghan was to put it, the moment he hallucinated about Seungcheol walking down the road while he was hanging out in his apartment's balcony, of which was about 5 floors up from the ground- he literally crossed the border of relatively hale to probably or most likely ailed. Not to mention, he also almost got killed by a speeding SUV who miraculously hit the brakes at the right time and got so scarcely close to running him down like how a turnado would to anything that stood against its way.

Nevertheless, the anti-depressants did a good job. Jeonghan's had less of these hallucinations lately. His diet plan might pose as a hassle, but he wouldn't deny the fact that they did wonders on tuning down his tendencies to go into an anxiety attack. He's also getting well-deserved and enough sleep, consuming more-than-meager meals and in general- he's doing better than how he was after the tragedy, or whatever works to explain _his_ disappearance.

The park was relatively empty. Maybe it was due to the fact that winter's about to turn up at Daegu- or everyone just so happens to have something better to do other than take a stroll at the aforementioned demesne. The sun was about to retire for the day and the stars were already peeking out of the skies. The colors of dawn now fading into the soft shades that depict night, shadows were casted unto the city and pretty soon, everything will be engulfed in it. Jeonghan blinked at the lonesome aura the park seemed to emanate, sighed and tucked up the collar of his turtleneck sweater. He plops down on one of the swings that creaked at the blunt pressure of his weight, looked up at the sky and watched the darkness eat away what was left of the morn. Mind buzzing but devoid of any train of thought- or is it?

A few blocks away- lies the origin of a tale that never got its ending. A memoir of a ravenette reading his book of Hamlet and a brunette, spirit confined in the four corners of the room- a lunch box clutched by one of his hands whilst the colors flushed and whisked away. Time dancing ever so fluidly and marring his heart- burning the transcripts and hues once promised and engraved into the surface.

And maybe, Jeonghan's mind is plagued of the remnants and ruin of that memory- in the back of his mind.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-🍻-

"Oh hey, it's you." a voice startled him out of his reverie and made him jump in his seat a little.

He whips around quickly, only to find the café owner who has once upon a time opened his establishment for service on a Christmas day. Jeonghan still looks back on that certain occasion and can't help but wonder. What if Mingyu hadn't opened his café for them on that holiday, would everything still be the same?

His eyes train on the man in front of him and he quickly notices how inappropriately dressed he was for the season. Mingyu, in contrast to him, was clad up in appropriate pre-winter attire. He sported a grey parka alongside a créme white turtleneck. Presumably, a sweater from the looks of the material. His dazzling eyes are accentuated by his slicked back brown hair- only that it might be dyed and not his natural hair color. If memory serves him right, the younger was a ravenette. _Just like Seungcheol_ but of course, not quite. Seungcheol will never be Mingyu, and it works like that in both ways.

Another thing Jeonghan knows predominantly of the man is that he likes to present himself as aesthetically possible. Which is why a lot of people actually have good impressions of the man, what with the warm demeanor and the presentable image he seems to emanate. Not to mention his good looks that he takes pride in- Overall, Mingyu was quite an amiable fellow and he couldn't be more thankful to have met him, much more be his friend.

The taller man chuckles and gives an apologetic smile. "Sorry for scaring you. How've you been, Jeonghan?"

Jeonghan slowly straightens his posture up and relaxed his tensed muscles from the shock. He takes a deep breath and smiled a little. The sun now replaced by the glowing moon alongside the stars that were flickering above him. The park was now illuminated by the street lamps installed along the premises. Jeonghan thought about how the bulbs needed to get changed since some of them are actually busty- anyhow, despite that anomaly, the light they've emitted is quite enough for him to make out Mingyu's face in the pitch black darkness of the night.

Jeonghan looks a little dismally to the street across the park. _The place where he saw Seungcheol come back home._

His lips part slightly, watching a car pass by and turn into the intersection before he lets out a slightly shaky yet assertive response. "Better." his lips quirk up into a warm, reminiscent smile. "Much better than I was 8 years ago, I guess."

Mingyu took a step towards the swing situated beside Jeonghan and plopped himself down on it. At that time, Jeonghan was already reeling back slightly and had started to swing himself gently.

"I mean, it still hurts- really hurt like breaking a bone or something like that. I still get war flashbacks every now and then, you know..." he looks up the sky and started to count the stars in his head. "In the end it's like I can never get a move on because he became this part of me- and with his loss it felt like I lost a limb. Like I only keep on dying everday, a thousand times painful than the last because his absence became this decay in myself. Every passing day kills me a tad bit more, and sometimes I can't help but think about how much longer would it take for it to erase me."

Mingyu frowns upon hearing the words. He has been Jeonghan's friend for quite a while now and has grown quite fond of him. To be fair, both Seungceol and Jeonghan had been- and if there was anyone that could retell the tale of the two males other than themselves, that would be him.

Mingyu looks forlornly at the heavens, making a soft sigh escape his lips as he closes his eyes. "Fate is a funny audience to our demise."

Jeonghan swings in his established pace. "Well, are they happy yet?" he lets out a chuckle, although Mingyu knows he is anything but happy. "Liking what they see so far?"

Mingyu makes a small scoff, finally looking down to his toes. "I guess they aren't easily pleased spectators. They love drama on their plate. Should we tell them their plot for you's getting bland?"

Jeonghan laughs softly, this time a tad bit out of ill humor. "Pass them a kilo of sugar when you appeal. I have a feeling they'd budge this time."

Mingyu snorts and Jeonghan lets out a soft giggle. It was humorous talking about it like this. As if some invisible higher force was just playing games with them. Jeonghan had thoughts about it. Is he suffering this punishment to pay for sins he can't seem to remember? If so, he wishes to not have done them at all. If the expense he has to pay was Seungcheol to every offense that he's committed, he regrets ever making them, up 'til the last one.

After a particularly stretched out moment of silence, with only the creaking gears of the swing and the occasional hum of cars passing by filling the air, Jeonghan slows his swinging and eventually stilled beside Mingyu, eyes directed towards his toes.

"To be honest- I never really stopped loving him from the start." he eyes a small pebble just beside his shoe, stepping on it before rolling it with interest underneath his soles. "I just stopped believing he loved me back."

Mingyu takes a sharp intake of breath. As years stretched on and passed by like a dream, he also lost rationales and reasons to back what could've caused Seungcheol's disappearance. He faces Jeonghan and found him in such a vulnerable state again, shoulder slumped and head bowed. Mingyu doesn't need to look to know Jeonghan's on the verge of tears.

The taller male reaches over, his hand coming to rest on Jeonghan's shoulder comfortingly. "Hey. I know you're thinking you aren't worth it, but you are, Jeonghan." he vociferates and rubs soothing circles unto Jeonghan's skin. "Don't think that you aren't enough. Because you have been more than enough."

There was tense silence, followed by Jeonghan's quiet sniffles. Mingyu finally deemed his comforting efforts not enough, leaving his place from the swing and making over to Jeonghan and crouching in front of him.

Jeonghan gently reaches to him and hugs him, like he's always had when he lets that gaping hole in him consume him. Mingyu was quick to react, engulfing Jeonghan and stroking his back comfortingly. "You've been so enough that he must've not been able to carry it."

Jeonghan can't help but let out a broken sob. It just hurts to hear that- even if Mingyu means well. However, the more rational part of his brain agrees. When Mingyu words it like that- he doesn't feel like he's done anything to drive the ravenette away. "You've done nothing wrong."

Jeonghan whimpers slightly and rests his head on the crook of Mingyu's neck. His tears drenching the taller male's clothes. Somewhere in the city, a ravenette peers down from the 50th floor of his building. Eyes swimming in the warm glow the lights has casted, somewhat projecting the nocturnal life of the locals. They then drifted to the the park that's a few ways away from this structure. His mind swims back to the day he's struggled his way around that vicinity. The memory all fuzzy and blurry in his head.

But what he could remember on that day were bright lights, sirens and cars honking. And a brunette who seemed so familiar before his vision dimmed.   
  
  
  
  


\----

🌙

 **G** eorge Raymund.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


That was the name he has named himself after waking up in the middle of nowhere. Probably somewhere in the woods, with only a suit on his back and a small taunting mauve box in his pocket, a bouquet of heathers and blue roses in one of his hands.

He doesn't know why he was there, or what those items were supposed to be for. But he ambles long enough to find a cottage in the middle of the hinterlands.

He discovers an old couple had owned the place. Immigrants from America whose names were Lee and Roi. They took him in with the premise he must've suffered amnesia despite looking relatively prim. Not a scratch, gash or bump on his head to say it was caused by physical means. Their initial suspicion was, it might've been caused by stress or a seizure. So they took him in and named him as George temporarily, allowing him to stay in their abode and recuperate.

However he just kept going downhill. There would be times he'd blurt out names he doesn't even know in a normal conversation, and a time where he started sputtering words that don't make sense.

Lee and Roi got concerned and decided to go to the mainland and ask medical help. They weren't foreign to the idea of technology, but they just loved the comforts of nature than that of the city.

He later finds out that he has Alzheimer's. The early onset one. It even makes it worse to know that Lee and Roi barely have enough money to provide him his necessary medications. The ring inside the small mauve box was now fashioned into a necklace. He had worn it around his neck, just in case someone would recognize him or the ring the he has worn. As for the flowers, they were preserved by Roi who seemed to have a knack with them. Air dried and kept in one side of their house in a glass vase. Unfortunately, they won't be able to provide him any form of identification if someone was to see them. Which is why they had to stay at the cottage.

Lee and Roi were kind of enough to take him in, and even kinder to shelter his expenses like he was blood related to them. He couldn't thank them enough, and so he promised in return, to battle his Alzheimers as best as he can.

They'd take a few walks to the park when he was better. However, after blacking out with the intensity of his attack last time- they never came back for a while.

He stayed there. Cooped up in the hospital. Sometimes, he'd request the nurses to take him up to the rooftop. Where he'd lean on the ledge and look down to the view below. He can't help but feel a wave of familiarity whenever he's up there. Like he knows the ambience by heart and somehow, this place was _home._ He can't put his tongue on it, but a café he's passed by one time was just extremely familiar to him too. Everything about this place was screaming at him- something nostalgic and yet he can't seem to grasp them. It feels like he's trying to capture water. His efforts futile as they slip past his fingers.

"Mundie," Roi calls out as he approaches him with a couple of flowers and groceries in his arms.

Raymund pulls himself to a sitting position and smiles. "Hi Roi." he looks at the paper bags the older male is setting on his bedside table. "What do you have there?"

Roi smiles and chuckles. "Your favorite. Some apples and some milk." he places the flowers on the vase he appealed for from the hospital. He sighs, "Isn't it nice to put some life around here?"

Raymund peers at the flowers Roi has brought. Some heathers and white flowers he isn't familiar of. There was a flash of yellow flowers too, and it kind of gave a calm aura around them.

He hums a response and chuckles. "They're gorgeous. Always the best from you, Roi." he says with a smile and a thumbs up.

Roi chuckles heartily and smiles at him fondly. "You always know what to say and when to say it, no?"

Raymund and Roi find theirselves in a fit of giggles before Lee steps in the room. Greeting them in his animate entrance, per usual.

"Hi babies!" he greets before waltzing towards Roi and pecking his head.

Roi acknowledges by kissing his cheek and moved away for Lee to press a soft kiss to Ray's forehead. "How are you today, Mundie?"

Raymund flashes him a smile. "Doing greet, Lee." Lee was already going through his groceries and placing a couple of books beside the bedside table. "What do you have there, Lee?"

Lee faces him and showed him a particular book in his hands. Words quite embossed in the book's cover and looking grand despite being an old issue. "Brought you one of your favorite books." The blonde man winks.

Ray perks up and squeals. "H-Hamlet!" he cries out. He holds the book in his hands and looks up to Lee. "Y-You'll read to me, right?"

Lee gives him an endearing smile, although somewhere beneath those orbs, lies his silent woes. "Of course, love."

Ray gives him a satisfied smile before looking at the book and hugging it to his chest. For a moment he thinks he remembers being somewhere, with a book just like this. But he dismisses the thought. He's an Alzheimer patient. Anything can happen, right?   
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Thanks, you guys."

"Always welcome, Mundie. Anyways, do you want to go to the garden today? It's your cheat day!"

-🍻-  
  
  
  
  


 **J** eonghan was sitting on top of a tree trunk.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Mingyu was looking up at him from below. "Jeonghanie, I'm climbing up, okay?"

It was raining that day, and yet here they were. At the park climbing trees. Jeonghan was clad up in his raincoat, and so was Mingyu.

"No! Stay down, Mingyu. You're all but a lousy climber." Jeonghan warns and shifts on the branch he was perched at. He was a little bit high up than what was deemed to be a safe height, and the idea of Mingyu climbing up here when he hasn't seen him climbing often made him doubtful of the younger's capabilities.

Mingyu sticks out his tongue to the older male in defiance. "I can climb trees hyung, you just watch."

Jeonghan couldn't help but roll his eyes. Mingyu can be stubborn sometimes. A quality that makes him endearing and annoying at the same time.

"Fine, Gyu. Just- watch your step." Jeonghan peers down to watch the younger struggle up. Mingyu does make it to one of the branches and he was more than happy to show it to Jeonghan.

"See hyung? I didn't die or anything!" he says as he stands and leans a hand to the trunk, looking down below with a smile.

"Alright, alright Gyu. I see that-" he looks away and looks at the direction of the sun, hidden behind nimbus clouds. "Sit down so I won't worry about you-"

But before he could even finish there's a crack and then a loud thump below. Jeonghan practically turns his head so fast, thankfully not earning some whiplash in the process.

Mingyu was on the ground. Eyes closed. No movement. Jeonghan's heart pounds into his chest.   
  
  
  
  
  


"Yah Mingyuyah! Wake up!"

\--

🌙  
  


 **"R** oi, can we pay a visit to the park we went to last time?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Lee and Roi exchanged looks. "Hm. That depends, Mundie. Which one are you pertaining to?"

They were paving down the halls and into the elevator. Raymund's wheelchair squeaking and gliding smoothly at the glaring white tiles of the hospital.

"What are you talking about? We only visited one. The one a few blocks away from here!" he chirped before they round a turn.

Lee and Roi frowns in concern. "O-Of course, Mundie. We forgot about that..." they roll past a few more rooms, Ray greeting every medical personnel or staff he happens to pass by. They don't mention that they've been around a couple of other parks, and the assumption that they think he's relapsing.

When they reached the elevator, Roi rolls him in whilst Lee punches in the floor. "We'll just see what the doctor says. Okay, Mundie?" Roi soothes while stroking Ray's head.

Ray smiles sadly but nevertheless, nods. "Okay."

The ride down to the ground floor was quiet. Raymund can't help but fidget a little. His eyes trail down to capture the ring that's hanging on his neck, his hand coming to trace the engraved initial on the accessory.   
  
  
  
  


_C. JHY_   
  
  
  
  


It never really made sense to him. The letters never did. But everyday, he wakes up with a little bit of hope that whatever these letters mean, it would be a key to who he was. He doesn't want to be George Raymund forever, although he had loved that name for quite a time. He wanted to know who he was, and who he used to be.

He was startled from his train of thoughts when he heard the familiar ring of the elevator. He looks up ahead, watching as he gets wheeled out yet again.

For a moment it was quiet, the usual thrum and hum of the hospital the only sound heard throughout the halls. That and the soft beeping of machines and low groans of pain from the emergency room.

Just then, the doors burst open to reveal a person wheeled in quite urgently with a brunette, seemingly in the verge of tears, following them.

He watches silently, feeling sorry for the brunette. The patient on the stretcher wasn't perceivable from his position but eventually he and the brunette meet eyes.

The brunette stops. 

He blinks idly before he pulls on Roi's sleeve, an indication to halt. "What's wrong, baby?" Roi murmurs before looking to where Raymund was staring.

The brunette was shaking, tears rolling down his cheeks profusely while a hand goes to cover his mouth. Raymund was speechless, he didn't know why he stopped. Why he felt like he needed to roll towards him, manhandling his wheelchair and stopping in front of this stranger.   
The stranger was already sobbing, and when he showed him the ring, the brunette broke down. He hugs him and squeezes tight, even Raymund was surprised. "S-Seungcheol..." he murmurs against his hair, convulsing in his sobs.

It was a moment of silence and reverberating sniffles in the hall. Even Lee and Roi didn't have the heart to intervene at the unfolding scene. They were just watching, and waiting. Like everyone else watching in must be doing.

Raymund's hands come to stroke the man's back soothingly, even and despite being not able to remember him.

"I miss you, baby. Where had you been?" the brunette whimpers before pulling away and wiping at his face aggressively. "I have been looking for you- Seungcheol, I was dying everyday thinking you could've been dead!"

Raymund watches the man fall into pieces before him. The more he watched him, the more he felt tears sting at the corner of his eyes. It wasn't long before he was cupping said brunette's face and wiping his tears away with his thumbs.

He breaks into small sobs. Images of christmas, cappuccinos, days and dates that don't make sense but feature this man in front of him. His tears rolling incessantly. "J-Jeonghan?" he says shakily.

Jeonghan nods whilst sniffling.

He cries out pulling Jeonghan closer and leans his forehead against him. "Jeonghan- Yoon Jeonghan." he chants and Jeonghan kisses his tears away.

"Yes Cheol. It's me." he murmurs and can't help but cry a bit more when Seungcheol slipped under his arms and hugged his waist. He starts to wail loudly, as if he was weeping.

Jeonghan hugs him tight, rubbing comforting circles on his back. Shushing him gently and kissing the top of his head. "It's okay Seungcheol. It's alright." he mumbles.

It takes a while more before Seungcheol's wails quiet down into a soft whimpers. When he looks up, Jeonghan was brushing his bangs away from his face. Drinking in his appearance.

The same raven hair, the same beautiful eyes, although a bit weathered by time. Seungcheol was still the same. _Still as beautiful as the day he left Jeonghan waiting._

"Jeonghan?" he says quietly and Jeonghan was quick to answer. Carding his fingers through the males hair, humming in response. "I-I love you. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm sorry..."

Jeonghan stops his ministrations and looks deep into his eyes. His hands coming to cup his cheeks, the pads of his thumbs stroking at the sides of his jaws. "I never stopped loving you."

He presses a soft kiss against Seungcheol's forehead. "I forgave you, even before you asked."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_"I love you too Seungcheol. Finally."_

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I'm sorry for the sloppy work. Thank you for reading!


End file.
